


10 Things I Hate About You

by koikanz



Category: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Fusion, F/F, F/M, Inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), M/M, teeny weeny bit of Sasha/Connie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koikanz/pseuds/koikanz
Summary: Eren Yeager is handsome, smart, and quite abrasive to most of his fellow teens, meaning that he doesn't attract many boys. Unfortunately for his younger sister, Mikasa, house rules say that she can't date until Eren has a boyfriend, so strings are pulled to set the dour dame up for a romance. Soon Eren crosses paths with handsome new arrival Levi Ackerman. Will Eren let his guard down enough to fall for the effortlessly charming Levi?
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	1. Jean VS High School - Round 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no words to describe this other than complete and utter artistic liberty. I remember being a horny tween and thinking this ship was like the hottest thing ever. However, as Attack on Titan progressed-and my sexual libido stabilized- the show just got so, ugh, *chef’s kiss*. One of the best non-linear stories I’ve had the pleasure of viewing. 
> 
> But, just for a second, I’d like to take you away from a story of humans predator vs prey dilemma and the meaning of freedom, back to 2014 when it was just an angry boy in a cruel world fighting titans. Welcome to shitpost the story. I had a lot of fun writing this. 
> 
> P.S This is ridiculously out of character in order for certain roles to work. I’m sorry, Mikasa.

Wall High, a place of total idiocracy. 

We start with Jean Kristien sitting in a chair parallel to a disinterested Erwin Smith. 

“I’ll be with you in just a moment.” Bored greyish blue eyes move to meet Jean, then return to an unfinished game of sudoku. He sighs and closes the lid of his laptop. His hands move across his desk and land on a Manila-colored folder, which he opens with his index finger. 

“Jean, is it? Here you go,” he hands Jean a schedule and begins to stand up from his desk. Looking through the folder filled with information on the boy, he turns to face the window. “9 schools in ten years? Wow, a fellow Army Brat on our hands it seems!” He laughs a little before continuing. “You know I was in the army for most of my life, took after my father. After fifteen years I revived an honorable discharge after I had almost lost my arm in a raid. Decided to become a principal. It only seemed right, as my father had just retired from being a teacher. The golden days seem to go too fast don't you think?” He looks up from the folder and gazes out the window. 

“Yeah, my dad is a-“ 

“The military were some of the best years of my life. Got to platoon commander, you know? Now it seems I just babysit students all day. But life is cruel,” He laughs sheepishly. “I’m a gambling man, had no idea if being a principal was right for me, but I needed a way to make a living. A military pension only lasts so long, and I like to work. So, I deal with the cards life has dealt me.” He turns back to face Jean, a smile on his face. 

“I think you’ll find this school is just like any other,” As he walks back over to his desk, the window behind him shatters, a ball entering the room. His face twitches with slight annoyance, disregarding the occurrence. “You see, we have the same assmonkeys here just as any other school. I hope you enjoy your time here Mr. Kristein,” He places the folder back on the desk and lays the palms of his hands on the edge of each side, his smile strained and overdone. “Now I have some deviants to deal with and a game to finish. Bye, now.” 

Jean looks from him to the window in shock. “Uh-“

“Bye!” The blonde man smiles warmly.

Jean mutters a thanks and quickly gathers his things. His awkwardness noticeable as he backs up into the wall of the room as he tries exiting. He attempts to use the momentum he gains to exit but stops when he sees a figure entering through the door. His head carefully turns to see only the top of a head of black hair. He casts his eyes down slowly to see a slim face scowling up at him. Jean’s eyes bulge as he stops to gawk in intimation. He would later describe this encounter as a meeting with “Satan’s Asian younger brother” to one Marco Boldt.

Jean- using his natural instincts of preservation- nods to the still smiling Erwin, and quickly leaves. He hears the marauder disguised as a teenage boy mutter something about ‘horses’. 

While he’s walking out he hears Erwin’s voice address the boy. “Ackerman, sometimes I think you just miss me, with how many times your sorry ass ends up here.”

“It’s the highlight of my day, eyebrows.”

Erwin laughs and continues. “Says here you kicked Bozado in the face after he spilled his cafeteria food on you.”

“It was self-defense, anyone could clearly see Oluo is just an idiot.”

“I really don’t have time for this. Next time, talk to him instead of venting out your frustrations like a caveman,” At the comment, Levi scoffs in annoyance. “Goodbye now, Mr. Ackerman!” 

Jean nervously walks down the hall until a boy with brown hair stops him. 

“Hey you’re Jean, right? I’m supposed to show you around.”

Jean laughs, “Thank god, they usually make some nerd from the robotics club the guide.” 

Two boys dragging a cart filled with electrical wires come into view from down the hall, one of the boys lifts his hand and calls out to the pair. “Hey Marco, when’s the next-“

“Marco? Pft-“ The boy dismisses the accusation and drags Jean off down the hallway by the shoulder, laughing anxiously. 

“So, here’s the breakdown; we basically run on a hierarchy. You don’t look like an Abercrombie worker or smoke fentanyl? Then don’t talk to the people who do UNLESS, they specifically talk to you first. Eye contact is deadly.”

“Is that your rule or theirs?”

“Okay, watch,” Marco looks to his left and smiles.

A boy with a letterman jacket glares at him confusedly, “Bite me, freckles.” 

“See that?” Marco turns to Jean still smiling as he guides them away. 

“Over there we have your future felons, steer clear Kirstein.” He motions to people around a couple of motorcycles smoking cigarettes. The fumes look like fog around them.

“Now over here- hey! Are you even listening?” Marco turns to Jean who seems to be lost in thought.

“Who is that-“ Marco’s vision realigns with Jean’s as his mouth drops open. A girl walks by with shiny black hair, walking next to a friend.

“Her? That’s first year Mikasa Yeager, she’s way out of your league, sorry buddy.” Marco looks from Jean to the girl, pity in his eyes. 

“I would kill for that woman.” Jean’s jaw now sucker-punching the ground. 

“Of course you would. She’s beautiful, smart, and talented. I’m sure half of the guys at this school would fight you to the death in the ring for the right to talk to her,” Marco puts his arm on Jean’s shoulder as he continues. “Look-, forget her. It’s a lost cause, everyone knows the Jeager siblings aren’t allowed to date.” 

“Uh-huh, yeah, totally.” Jean nods distractedly as he looks after the girl, starry-eyed. His feet move not by his own violation, and he stops her.

“Hey, you have... really pretty black hair.” 

Marco face palms at not only Jean’s actions but choice of words as Mikasa monotonely responds, “Thanks.” And walks away while her friend giggles.

“You are an idiot.” Marco sighs as the five-minute bell for class rings.

—

“Okay, everyone! Take out your Romeo and Juliet books. We’re writing an in-depth essay next class period so if you slacked off, you have a day to catch up. Now, what did everyone think?” 

“It was so romantic! Romeo couldn’t stand to be without the woman he loved.” Historia Riess, a second-year, responds dreamily as she rests her chin on her palm. 

Three seats over, Eren Yeager scoffs. His outfit his usual hobo-esc ruggish punk look. With his long hair put up in a loose ponytail, as he pairs beat-up combat boots with high black socks, loose military cargo pants, and a plain grey shirt over a black long sleeve. “Romantic? Romeo was an idiot. He was in ‘love’ with Rosaline not even a week ago, and he dies for this girl he just met? He just wanted to get in her pants.” He huffs and puts his chin in the palm of his right hand. 

The class, and Mr. Hanes groan, all too familiar with Eren’s frequent and meaningless tangents. 

“Sounds like you could take some pointers, Yeager. Maybe you’ll get some.” Annie Lockheart, who’s sitting two seats behind him remarks. Half the class giggles, while some hide their chuckles behind coughs. None are subtle. 

Eren turns his head so fast he could have snapped his neck, and glares at Annie and her ‘lackies’ as he and Armin refer to them. “Eat me.” 

“Okay! That’s enough from you two.” Mr. Hanes sighs as puts his hands on each side of his desk, head down in defeat. 

“I guess being a stone-cold bitch allows you to comment on anything, huh.”

The class makes “oo’s” at Eren’s comeback, he then turns his head back to face towards Mr. Hanes. “Instead of wasting our time on Shakespeare's worst play, we could try reading something that’s actually relevant to our education.” 

Levi Ackerman then enters the class through the door that’s been propped open. He examines the students, displeased, looking ready to commit arson. 

“If it isn’t Mr. Punctual. Take a seat, Levi.”

Levi grumbles and stays at his place near the door. “What did I miss?”

“The lack of societal information given to us by the idiot that is Mr. William Shakespear,” Eren responds, still looking at Mr. Hanes.

“Not worth my time.” Levi walks out of the class without another word.

“Hey, get back here!” Mr. Hanes points accusingly at the empty space near the door. 

“Hey, Mr. Hanes, can you ask Eren to smoke up the bathroom before he gets to class. Maybe it’ll make him more bearable.” 

“Annie! You cannot sit here and tell me your foul attitude is any better than Eren’s. Both of you are a pain in my rear end. Thank you for your take on Shakespeare, Eren. However, I think you could open your mind up a little more to romance. Lord knows you need it.” The class giggles and both parties settle down, looking deflated after the teacher called them out. 

“Oh and Eren, see me after class.” 

-

“Yes, Mr. Hanes?” Eren saunters up to the front of the room after the bell rings.

“I need you to stop terrorizing my class.” 

“I didn’t know expressing my opinion was a federal crime.” 

Hanes scoffs at his words, “Look, Jeager, whatever’s going on between you and Annie, I need you to deal with it. If you like her, ask her out already-“

“I would never like such a cold-hearted bitch.” 

“Kid, the only reason I haven’t expelled your disrespectful ass is because I know your father. Whatever’s going on with you, I need you to sort it out.” He sighs before continuing. “Look, Eren, most people would describe you as-“

“Heinous?”

“Burnout Prick, was the term I believe. So, get your shit together.”

Eren sighs while lifting the strap on his backpack to rearrange its placement, then dramatically leaves the room.


	2. The Hots for Your Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for sticking with me for this I am so sorry it took so long to post!! I recommend this movie but massive TW for the r slur!! ok muah i love you and i hope you're liking szn four so far!!

“Forget it, Annie, I couldn’t even hit that,” Reiner says after he sees Annie eyeing up Mikasa Yeager.

“See, that’s where you and me are different, Reiner.” Annie smiles looking her up and down, Mikasa smiles back and waves. 

From across the courtyard, Jean and Marco are watching with interest. “Who the hell is that?”

“Annie Lockheart, total bitch. Captain of the softball and swim team. Every lesbian’s wet dream.” 

“Who the hell are you?!” Jean says turning his head to the kid shoving food down his mouth. 

“Cowny Sprinagar” The kid smiles at him, his words completely unintelligible.

“That’s Connie. He’s a close friend of mine.“ Marco says sheepishly.

“More like your only!” His words more clear after he’s swallowed. 

Jean isn’t paying attention anymore, as he’s caught looking at Mikasa again. “She’s gorgeous.”

“No way, you have a thing for Jeager? She can’t date!” Connie laughs as Marco pushes him for being insensitive.

“Her and her brother look terrifying! She is a total babe I’ll give you that though.” Marco pushes him again. 

“Jean... Annie and Mikasa are on a completely different level from us. But I’m not gonna tell you that you can’t like her. Just don’t get hurt, okay? And you know what, good news, she’s looking for a French tutor.”

“Are you serious? That’s perfect!”

“You... speak French?”

“You’re looking at 100% percent French Heritage here. But, I can’t actually speak it...” 

“You’re an idiot.”

-

The last bell rings, and Annie is leaving the school in a shiny red corvette. 

She stops when she sees Mikasa walking next to her friend. “Need a ride, girls?”

Mikasa looks at her friend and they giggle, nodding to each other in a silent pack of agreement. They then open the back doors and sit on the white leather muffler of Annie’s car. 

“Hold on tight.” Annie revs the engine and they leave the school parking lot. Mikasa clinging to the arm of her friend, both of their free arms up in the air. 

From across the parking lot, Armin’s eyes wander to the scene.

“No way, Annie is totally making the moves on your sister!” Armin points out as they’re walking over to Eren’s beat-up mustang. 

“Armin, since when do you say ‘the moves’” Eren laughs and gets his keys from the lanyard he was keeping in his back pocket, and opens the car doors on both sides with a click.

“Hey, some of us want to be part of society.” Armin makes his way to the passenger seat of Eren’s car and gets in. 

Eren gets in and once they’re settled, he sighs with his hands on the wheel. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Mikasa’s smart enough to not fall for that crazy bitch.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Armin looks at him disbelievingly. “When’s the last time you saw Mikasa blush?”

Eren pauses for a moment, “God is punishing me.” Eren sighs and puts the keys into the ignition. 

As he’s driving away, Connie tries to run over to Jean and Marco and almost gets run over. 

“Hey, shit for brains! Get out of the way, Springer!” Eren honks his horn and drives off, while Armin mouths a ‘sorry’ to Connie.

Connie laughs and sprints over to where Marco and Jean are. 

“Who’s that?” Jean asks, confused.

“Well, loverboy, that is your dream girl’s brother. He’s a total d-bag.” Connie laughs.

“Great.” Jean exhales and looks down.

“In all his glory.” Marco looks to the car driving away.

“Welp. Stay cool boys, I’m leaving.” Connie salutes. 

Jean and Marco’s eyes follow Connie, who’s whistling as he struts his way to the bus stop. 

“Is he allowed to use that word when that’s how-“

“Nope.”

-

“Eren, turn your music down, you damn delinquent!” Grisha bangs on Eren’s bedroom door. 

Eren sighs and turns the knob on his radio to the left, the music getting softer.

“Yes father, and at 6:30 I’ll become a monk and stop world hunger.”

“Funny.” Grisha sighs.

“Hey, I’m home!” Mikasa announces as she comes up the stairs and hugs her father. 

“Hey Er’, I’m making dinner tonight.” She calls out to the closed door in front of her. 

Eren opens the door and looks at Mikasa. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Only every day.” She rolls her eyes and smiles softly. 

“Also, who drove you home today?”

“Drop dead.”

“That’s what I thought.” 

“Eren, something came for you in the mail, It’s a letter from SRU.” Grisha interrupts, pulling an envelope from his inner jacket pocket and handing it to Eren. Mikasa gives Eren a confused look.

“Yes! It came!” He grabs the letter out of his dad’s hand and tears it open messily. 

His eyes scan over the paper and his breath hitches after his eyes fall over the words Congratulations. “I got in!”

“Eren. We’ve talked about this.”

“Dad! SRU has been my dream since I was little. I’m tired of living in Walls. I want to go adventure!”

“You’re impossible, Eren.” Mikasa sighs, her voice becoming stern with her concern. 

“Come on, you too?”

“It’s dangerous.” Her expression deadpans. 

“Whatever.” Eren turns away from the both of them and angrily slams the door to his room. After a few seconds music begins to play loudly.

Mikasa looks back at her dad, she thinks for a second before continuing. “Dad, I know this isn’t the time to ask this, but I’ve been talking with Sasha, and her parents-“

Grisha sighs in irritation. After the continuous prodding from both his children. “I know what you are going to say. You know the rules of this house, Mikasa.”

“I’m the only one at school not dating anyone.” Mikasa’s voice steady even as she’s pleading to her father. 

“That isn’t true! Eren isn’t dating anyone.”

“And I don’t intend to!” Eren yells through the door, clearly eavesdropping. 

“Okay, here’s the new rule. Mikasa can date-“ A clutter from Eren’s room can be heard.

“Thank you.” Mikasa smiles contently. 

“When Eren does.”

“WHAT?” Both of them yell, Eren’s door now wide open. 

Grisha nods to himself and picks up his work pager, it’s ringing disturbing the shocked silence. “They called me into the hospital, I’ll try to be home by dinner. Love you two.” Eren and Mikasa are both rendered speechless even as Grisha kisses them both on the forehead and makes his way down the stairs. 

“Eren-“

“Guess you’ll just have to miss out on doing it with the biggest bitch in school.”

“... you suck.”

-

“Hi.”

Jean startles and messes up his papers.  
“Hey! Hey... Mikasa,” Trying to act cool, he smiles awkwardly at her which she has no response to. 

“My next period is volleyball, so I need to leave early... sorry.” She sits down across from him. The two of them at a desk behind a shelf of books in the library. 

“That is totally okay! No sweat!” His hands fumble back to his pages, where he points to a section. “So... uh, I was thinking we could start on pronunciation.”

“I have most of it down.”

“Oh... well there is an alternative,” Jean gulps. “French food, we could, you know, get some.”

“You’re asking me out,” Mikasa says thoughtfully.

“Yeah-“ Jean breathes trying to calm his anxiety. “I know your dad doesn’t let you date but-“

“Actually my dad came up with a new rule yesterday, I can date when Eren does.”

“Your brother?” Jean’s eyes glow in hope. 

“Yes, but he really doesn’t seem interested in anyone. So sor-“

“Uh, I could totally help with that! I noticed he was a little anti-social, why is that?”

“I’m not really sure. I’m fine with whatever he does, but he’s really an idiot sometimes. He used to be super popular, though.” Mikasa’s blank expression consistent on her face throughout the conversation. 

“He has that whole bad boy thing going on for him, I’m sure a lot of girls wouldn’t mind that.”

“Oh the girls aren’t the problem, he’s into guys. Not many dudes want to go out with someone with as big of an attitude as he has.”

“Oh-“

“Thanks for doing this though.” Mikasa smiles and packs up her stuff.

“Yeah, I-“

“Same time next week, okay?”

“But the bell hasn’t-“

“Bye, John.”

-

“You should just give up. No one wants to go out with that dickhead.” Marco gives Connie a look, who sticks his tongue out in defiance. 

“Ugh! There has to be someone that matches his jerkiness!” Jean puts his head in his hands, exasperated.

Just as if the universe had heard Jean’s cry for help, they hear something. 

“Shut it, shit for brains!” A voice from behind them yells.

“Where have I heard that before?” Jean muses and smiles at Connie.

All three of them simultaneously turn to see Levi Ackerman working on a chemistry project while yelling at Hange Zoe. Jean’s smile turns into a shit-eating grin.

“What about him?”

“I heard he killed someone and that’s why he was gone for a year,” Connie whisper screams.

“You don’t actually believe that do you?” Jean laughs.

“Well, on Monday he kicked Oluo Bozado in the face after he dropped food on him,” Marco interjects.

“Then he’s perfect!” 

-

Jean enters the fencing club and then looks over to see Levi Ackerman cleaning his sword with a white cloth. He walks over to him.

“Hey! My name’s Jean-“ Levi scowls at Jean and puts his sword up to Jean’s chest, all while making eye contact. 

“Bye!” Jean U-Turns and leaves the room. 

-

“You could pay him.”

“I’m broke, Connie.”

“You know, I have a better idea. You know that Annie girl? I’m guessing she would want to date Mikasa too. And she’s crazy smart. So why don’t you give her the idea, and reap the rewards of her hard work?”

“Marco, I could kiss you.”

“Please don’t.”

-

“Hi, I’m Connie!”

“We know who you are,” Reiner says, as Connie sits down next to him, Annie, and Bert.

“So, Annie, I had this thought-“

“I don’t care.”

“So I hear you have a thing for Jeager’s sister, right?” Everyone at the table looks up at him.

“Well, I think we both heard the new rule her dad made. So, why don’t you just hire someone who can deal with the jerk up until prom?” Connie then points over to where Levi and Hange are sitting, he growls at someone, then laughs as they jump in fear.

“You know, Springer, that was almost competent of you. So, what do you gain out of this?” Reiner grabs Connie’s face and begins drawing on him.

“A truce that dates back to kindergarten. I’m walking down the hall and I say hi, you say hi back.”

“Maybe you aren’t as big of an idiot as I thought.”

“Thank you!” 

Reiner puts the cap back on his pen and lets go of Connie’s face. 

“We’re done,” Reiner says after Connie stays at the table for a little too long. 

“Yup, yeah okay bye!” Connie then runs off. 

“What are you doing getting Darth Vador into this, Connie?” Jean walks up to him from where he was waiting, Marco close behind.

“Well, while she’s occupied getting thing one and thing two together, you have more time with Mikasa! Smart right?” 

Connie looks at the two boys, and once he turns his head they start to laugh.

He sighs, “I have a dick on my face, don’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not sure how many chapters this will be?? less than 20 for sure. also looking for someone to beta!! if u have any suggestions please let me know :D


	3. Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting binge tonight. Thanks for reading!

“Hey, small and scary. I need something.” Annie comes up to Levi on the field during her weights class.

“I don’t care.” Annie laughs at their similarity.

“You see him?” She gestures over to Eren in a white tank top running on the field next to Armin. 

“Yeah, so what?”

“That’s Eren Yeager, I want you to ask him out.”

“Sure, want me to do a dance for you too?” 

Hange, who’s next to him, looks over at Eren.

“Come on, Levi. The boy is cute.”

“Don’t give the shrew any ideas, glasses.”

Annie, realizing she’s getting nowhere with Levi, goes over to Hange.

“I can’t start dating his sister unless he’s dating someone too. The dad’s a little bit of a hardass-“

“That sounds fun! But it’s not me you have to convince,” She winks at Annie and looks over to the very annoyed Levi.

“What if I gave you incentive,” She says looking over to Levi.

“You’re going to pay me to take out a brat?”

“Yup.”

“How much.”

“30,” Considering the offer Levi, Hange, and Annie look over to where Eren is calling someone a fuckhead and flipping them off. “40.” 

“Hm, well think about this. We go to the movies; that’s fifteen... then we get popcorn; forty, and he’ll want some drinks and snacks, right? Mmm, we’re looking at 75 dollars here.”

“This isn’t a negotiation. Take it or leave it.”

“50 and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

Annie breathes out as Hange laughs. She takes out a 50 dollar bill and hands it to Levi, who inspects it in the sun.

-

Eren runs over to get water and takes his shirt off. His abs glistening with sweat.

“The gym works wonders,” Levi says, walking up to him. 

“I’m sure you would know, shorty,” Eren jabs. Levi contains his snarky remark and continues.

“You got a boyfriend?”

“Yeah, he’s a total hunk. 7ft too.” Levi’s face twitches in annoyance.

“So, pick you up at seven on Friday?”

“In your dreams, Napoleon.” 

“Look brat, can’t I find you attractive?”

“Brat? That’s new. Do you even know my name?”

“I know a lot more than you think.” 

“You keep telling yourself that.” Eren scoffs and runs to catch up with Armin at the exit of the field.

“Oh my god, we’re screwed,” Jean puts his head in his hands from where he’s looking from the bleachers.

“Hey! You’ve come this far man don’t give up. Be positive!” Marco tries comforting him. 

“We’re screwed!” Jean says in a cheery voice.

“Yeah, yeah.” Marco huffs. 

-

“Eren, you should cut your hair. People are too scared of you.” Mikasa is standing across from Eren at her respective sink, brushing her hair.

“Mik, I don’t think my hair’s the problem,” Eren says, voice slightly muffled from the hair tie in his mouth. 

“Then why don’t you try not being sarcastic for a day,” Mikasa stops brushing and looks accusingly towards Eren, whose hands are putting up his hair.

“I’d lose my identity.”

Mikasa sighs and puts her brush down. “Don’t you care what people think?”

“No, do you? Miss perfect,” Eren looks over to her, hair now up in a loose bun, his fringe hanging out the sides of his face. 

“Well obviously. I’m human, Eren. You can’t lie to me, I’m your favorite sister.”

“Only sister.” 

“Same difference.” Mikasa laughs and looks at herself in the mirror. She goes quiet as she looks at the pearls around her neck.

“Are those moms?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty, don’t you think?”

“Both of you are gorgeous.”

Mikasa stops for a little, and looks at Eren, smiling softly. “If you were nice like that all the time, people wouldn’t know what to think.”

Eren comes up behind his sister and wraps his arms around her in a hug. “That would be the day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will be super short, but I will be posting more frequently now! :D


	4. Deal Prt. 2- Electric Boogaloo

"Nice ride, needs cleaning though, looks filthy.”

“You’re free to clean it, and hey! Are you following me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I work at the dry cleaners, I saw a busted-up car and knew it was yours. I came to say hi. Maybe it’s fate.”

“Then, hi,” Eren rolls his eyes and tries to get into his car.

Levi puts his arm in front of him. Blocking his entrance into the car. “Not big on talking, are we?”

“Depends, cleaning isn’t exactly a muse for me.”

Levi laughs for a bit. “You’re not the least not intimidated by me, are you?”

“Why the hell would I be afraid of you?”

“Most people are.”

“You’re five foot. I could take you out like a bowling pin.”

“I’d like to see you try, you look homeless.”

“Wow, your words woo me. I am yours.” 

Levi sighs and steps out of the way as Eren gets into his car. 

Just as Eren’s pulling out, Annie pulls up in her Corvette. Blocking Eren in. 

“God, what is it? Asshole day?” Eren sighs and flips Annie off.

“Move!”

“Nope.” Annie laughs and gets out of the car. 

Eren thinks for a little, then chuckles. He backs his car into Annie’s at full speed then drives back up.

“You idiot!” Annie yells at him checking her car. Levi is laughing his ass off.

“Whoops,” Eren says.

-

“WHOOPS?” Grisha yells at Eren, who’s sitting on the couch with a book. 

“It was an accident!”

“My insurance does not cover teenage rebellion!”

“Tell them I had a seizure or something.”

“This is about me not letting you join SRU, isn’t it.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “You can’t make decisions for me.”

“I’m your father.”

“If mom was here she would have let me!”

“Don’t bring your mother into this, Eren.”

“You’re so afraid that something will happen to me that you’re not letting me live out my dream. Isn’t what I want important?”

Grisha sighs, and his work pager goes off. “We’ll continue this.”

“Eren!” Mikasa’s voice came from upstairs. 

“Oh great.”

“You ran into Annie’s car? Are you an idiot?” Mikasa running down the stairs, cellphone in hand.

“Tell your girlfriend not to be a bitch next time.”

“Stop being so psycho,” Mikasa sighed and went back upstairs as Eren rolled his eyes.

-

“Ackerman, I’m down a car and I still have no results.”

“I’m working on it.”

“That doesn’t count as a date. If you don’t get some, I don’t get some. So... get some.” Annie smiles passively.

Levi closes his locker and thinks for a bit. He then turns to Annie. “I just upped my price.”

“What?”

“100$ a date.”

“Forget it.”

“Then forget about his sister.” Levi smiles at her.

Annie sighs then takes out a bill and gives it to Levi. “You better work those moves, Cassanova”

-

“Go.”

“No I went before, you go!”

Connie, Jean, and Marco all go up to Levi as he’s taking a drink of water during fencing. 

Jean goes up nervously. “We know what you’re trying to do, with Eren Jeager.”

“Oh? Is that right,” Levi glances over to them and puts his water away, ignoring them. “And what are you going to do about it?”

“H-help you!”

“Why?”

“Uh because, see, Jeanie over here, has a thing for Mikasa,” Connie intrudes. 

“What is it with this girl? She rich?”

“Hey!-“ Marco stops Jean before he can say anything else. Levi merely glances at him, uninterested. 

“Let’s just say, Jean’s heart is in the right place, unlike... Annie Lockheart’s?” Connie and the others follow Levi as he packs up his equipment.

“I’m in this for the money, I don’t care who screws her.”

“There will be no-“ Marco stops Jean again and shakes his head at him.

“Levi, we set this whole thing up so that, Jean,” Connie smacks Jean on the chest. “Could get the girl, Annie’s just a pawn.”

Levi glances over at Connie and scoffs.

“So you three idiots want to help me, is what I’m hearing?”

“Absolutely!” Levi laughs and nods approvingly.

“We’ll do some research and find out what he likes, we’re your guys!”

“And he means that in a strictly business sense,” Jean interjects 

Connie continues. “On Friday, Yimir is having a house party, it’s the perfect opportunity.”

“For what?”

“For you to take out Eren.”

“I’ll think about it.” Levi nods at them and walks off. 

“I think that went well.” Connie smiles to himself.

-

“So you going to Yimir’s party on Friday?” Jean asks while looking at his shoes.

“I’ll think about it. I don’t even know if I can, since Eren’s not going” Mikasa jumps from the rock they're sitting on, Jean following close. 

“I have a guy, he’s just not going for him”

“Well, I found a picture of young Leonardo DiCaprio in his room, so we know he’s not completely asexual.”

“So that’s the kind of guy he likes, like, pretty guys?”

“I don’t know, all I’ve heard is that he’d die before dating a guy who drinks.”

“Ok, alright that’s something. What else?”

“Eren’s pretty easy to read, but he doesn’t tell me anything about romance. His ego’s too big.”

“So let’s go behind enemy lines, nothing else seems to be working.” 

-

“A class schedule, a collection of Vonnegut, and a nirvana disk.” Mikasa says after she finishes looking through Eren's desk.

“Ah, he has sexy clothes.” Jean checks a drawer and brings a black article out.

“Sexy clothes?”

“You know when a dude wants to impress a girl so he’ll wear something tight? I mean it has to be the same for gay people.”

“That makes sense, the tightest thing I've seen Eren wear is a leather jacket.”

“A boy doesn’t buy tight clothes unless he wants someone to see it.”

“It’s the same for girls.”

“Oh, uh. Really? So-“

“Yes?”

“Could I.... see your room?” 

“A girl’s room is personal.”

“Oh, yeah totally. My bad.”

-

“So... why don’t you just go to a bar or something?” Jean asks Levi as he follows him around a restaurant with some very scary patrons.

“Bars are filthy.” 

“Yeah, totally. Right. So, um-“

“You promised me information, right?” Levi’s eyes slant as he looks Jean up and down. He downs scotch from a glass and lays his elbow against the table.

“First, Eren hates drinkers.” Jean carefully takes the glass out of his hand and puts it down on the table.

“What does this kid want me to be? A saint? Fuck no,” Levi laughs harshly. 

“Just for now.” Marco says.

“And here’s another problem Mikasa said Eren likes... pretty guys.”

“Not that you aren’t pretty, Mr. Levi sir. Just maybe cut down on the scowls?” Connie adds.

“Hm.”

“Uh so, here’s this,” Jean takes out a notepad with some scribbles from his pocket. “He likes 90’s grunge, Indian food, and early 70’s literary thriller horror.” 

“So what I’m supposed to eat some curry and watch a Stephen King movie with him?”

“Well, there’s something else, uh you ever heard of Club 104? His favorite band’s playing there tomorrow.”

“No.”

“But he’ll be there! He has tickets. Just put away all dignity for one night.” Marco supplies. 

“He has tight clothing... if that helps.”

“Connie!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for a couple of days! Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> They live in a city called Walls. Yep.


End file.
